Scream, S2 E7- Let the Right One In

Trespassing is the new planking.

Right away we get a glimpse of Eli’s character, and honestly, it’s a little unsettling. Turns out, his favorite activity is trespassing in other people’s houses. At least, that’s how we find him at the start of the episode. While the unaware couple of the home are sleeping, Eli is their kitchen enjoying toast. I can’t say I approve of your pastime, but at least you look cool (not to mention creepy) doing it?

The Sheriff and “irrelevant 90% of the time” deputy arrive at Emma’s house to discuss her Final Girl status and where it lies in the new murders. Just kidding, they want to look at her computer, because they definitely think she’s the target behind these murders. You don’t say? Emma finally mentions her pig farm dreams to them and is mad once again at Kieran for tattling on her. Does his hair product force him to tell one thing about Emma to the cops per use or something? C’mon dude!

The Naudrey confession last night, turned into a Naudrey sleepover. Audrey knows she can never ever tell her connection to Piper ever! Okay, but who’s going to tell her that Noah accidentally or purposefully recorded her confession? Yeah, that’s definitely going to get out somehow.

The Bi-Curious and the Virgin head to the Lakewood coffee shop/the show’s only hangout spot and manage to bump into Zoe. She’s definitely excited to see Noah, plus is in desperate need to go over his material for (sex) finals. They plan a “study session” which Audrey immediately knows is a date; Noah? Not so much. You’ll get there buddy; soon you’ll figure out every girl’s upcoming move on you. What do you guys think of Zoe/Noah (Zoah?). The show’s nerdy adorable couple? Or should Noah watch his back when it comes to Zoe?

“I feel like I’m Ben Affleck from Gone Girl. Only much prettier.”

Later at said coffee shop, Brooke checks out sees Audrey and is in a mad dash to speak to her! Remember her torture sesh with Branson? It’s still eating her up inside, considering she thinks he’s still tied to the hotel bed! That could be true, but he’ll be one hand short. Excuse me while I cringe at the memories of last episode’s Killer/Branson scene. I haven’t ironed anything since!

“You’re dark, in a good way. I feel like maybe you would understand.” Brooke needs her gal pal’s help in getting her former lover/teacher untied from the bed. Dude’s definitely going to be pissed and she needs backup.

Meanwhile, in Sheriff Acosta’s side-plot, he heads to the pig farm to do some of his own investigation. Everything appears vacant until he comes across a photo of a young Emma. This and something else causes him to tell someone over the phone: “We have a bigger problem then we thought.”

At work/the hangout spot (I wonder if Emma is ever upset that her friends always want to hang out at her work. It’s not like she can enjoy herself most of the time), Emma is ranting to the newest employee, Eli, on his terrible cousin, Kieran! How dare he still keep using her hair product, I mean tell the cops everything about her! Eli explains to her that this problem stems from his double daddy issues. He still regrets the fact that he was fighting with his stepdad right before he died and of course is still aching over his biological father’s death. I think you get a ‘That’s rough, buddy!‘ Kieran. All of this puts stuff into some perspective for Emma, so that she can no longer be that pissed at him.

She may look adorable, but she’s probably planning multiple ways to kill Audrey in her head this instant.

On Zoah’s study session/first date, Zoe takes him to her favorite thinking spot: the lake that has Piper’s dead body in it! How romantic! I bet you can still hear Emma’s screams at the dock. After some serious making out (get some, Virgin!), Noah asks how they never got the ball rolling on ‘Zoah’ sooner. That’s because Zoe was at some rad space camp during the show’s first season. But the thing is, Noah knows that space camp very well (he cries over his many rejection letters) and the program is in the summer, not fall. It’s then Zoe confesses she actually had a nervous breakdown and stayed home from school for a month. Did I just hear you going on my suspect list with that confession? I did! Plus, she loses shippable couple points on her part because she denies a call from Audrey on Noah’s phone. Jealousy isn’t cool, girl.

Granted Audrey only called to tell him she was going to head into a hotel room with Brooke…to see a pissed Branson of course. Once inside, Braudrey find the room clean as if no one’s been there at all! Not a blood stain in sight! Killer 2.0, teach me your ways of stain removal! Before the pair can wonder where Seth is for long, Brooke gets a text from “Seth” asking to meet her at the high school.

Back at the coffee house, Eli suggests Emma take some time off from her final girl duties and go on a date with him. But ya know, it’s not really a date because she’s still dating Kieran. She actually accepts. What she does not accept is Miss Lang’s nosy demeanor when she approaches her. I guess since Seth Branson/Palmer is basically no more, someone’s gotta fill the creepy teacher shoes. Lady, if someone isn’t answering your texts/calls, they’re not interested in talking to you.

“Why can’t we keep a teacher on this show?!”

We find that Miss Lang has secretly recorded Emma anyway, once she’s at the school. Actually, she’s recorded every Lakewood Five student! Granted, it’s probably Psychology related, but still – no excuse! Shortly after she hears a noise outside in the hallway. So stupidly, like she doesn’t know she’s in a slasher TV series, she goes to investigate. That investigation leads her to have both a destroyed office and a cracked open head while being pushed down the stairs, thanks to Killer 2.0. Does Lakewood have an opening for a psych teacher now?

Just outside the school, Brooke and Audrey are prepared to go inside. Knowing that the Killer wants her to enter the building alone, Audrey uses the “I’m dark” excuse again to enter solo. She’s ready to face Killer 2.0. What she’s not ready to face is seeing Miss Lang’s surprisingly not dead body by the stairs.

While Bi-Curious is getting an ambulance for Miss Lang, Virgin is trying to, well, not be a virgin anymore. He invites Zoe over to play with his radio equipment (Did I just write a sexual innuendo?). But our trust (if we had any) goes out the window when she emails the Audrey confession audio file to herself. “I don’t trust you,” I say to my TV through clenched teeth. However, Noah does. So much in fact that Audrey walks in on his near deflowering with Zoe! Awkward.

“When I meant my love for you was burning up, this isn’t what I meant!”

Eli and Emma’s date is to a house development, where he tells her of his home invasion hobby. What girl wants to hear, “Yeah, I love to break into homes and be someone else cause my life sucks.” Apparently Emma, who gets his tortured soul. She is dating his cousin after all. Their friend-date is going great until sparks fly a little too much. As they kiss a fire actually breaks out in the house! We all know it was the Killer’s work and not because of Eli and Emma’s chemistry.

Eli is not a fan of cops, having a record, so the pair bolts from the scene. Little do they know that a dead Eddie and a barely alive Branson are upstairs. Well, he’s officially dead now as the flames engulf him. Ouch. Drowning and burning alive seem like the worst way to die. I’m now worried for whatever relationship Stavo and Brooke have. It’s pretty evident he’s just going to die, given her track record with guys.

Lakewood Body Count:

• Tyler O’Neill
• Nina Patterson
• Rachel Murray
• Riley Marra
• Will Belmont
• Sheriff Clark Hudson
• Piper Shaw
• Jake Fitzgerald
• Eddie Hayes
• Seth Branson/Palmer

Kelly’s Killer 2.0 Suspects:

• Gustavo Acosta (The guy literally has a Brandon James mask that he casually wears in his room. Why?)
• Sheriff Acosta
• Zoe Vaughn
• Kevin Duval
• Eli Hudson (He easily could have started that fire in the housing development)
• Karen Lang
• Kieran Hudson

Next recap: Festivals and carnivals are the classic setup for murder in slasher films/shows. Let’s hope this isn’t true for Lakewood’s sake. “The most insane, stupid thing ever. Having a carnival after everything that’s happened in this town?” Gustavo, you are very wise.