Glee S6 Ep9 “Child Star”

In the hallway, Jane is bummed by a C in math but Mason has the totes best recipe to fix it: dinner at Breadstix! Now roach infestation free (they fumigated), he would love to take her there next week to teach her to eat her feelings. Awww. This adorkable dating attempt is interrupted by Madison, who links arms with her twin and horns in on the convo. He’s off carbs, bye Jane!

Jane looks befuddled.

Mason later takes his issue to the locker room for a conference with Roderick and Spencer. He would like to ask out the gorgeous and talented Jane but is having problems with his sister horning in.

Spencer: “Wait, aren’t you guys dating?”


And no Spencer, you can’t be dismissed on account of homosexuality.

Turns out with their parents being more concerned with show business than child rearing, Madison has become a second mom to Mason, treating him like a small child, which makes trying to date Jane impossible.

So one of them has to ask his crazy sister on a date!

Spencer bows out on account of homosexuality and Roderick was paying attention so…no. With weights in hand, Spencer tells Mason to blow off his sister so he can get some with Jane, orders Roderick to meet him so he can whip him into shape, and after that, help him get a date with Alistair!

Mason: “Wait, how did this become about you guys?”

You’re not new anymore Mason, you must have figured this out by now.

In the Teacher’s Lounge, Rachel thinks they should do some modern Broadway for Myron’s opening act. When Will asks her what the kids are like, she claims they are “energetic” and “quiet.”

Will: “Quiet because you’re always talking?”

This Bar Mitzvah is, Will thinks, an excellent chance for the kids to make some decisions for themselves. So Rachel excitedly tells them they’re going to sing at the event – yay! – only to receive zero enthusiasm back.

Apparently no one wants to sing at a rich kid’s birthday party (and clearly have no experience with Jewish sacred traditions) and wait, are they really going to sing or are they about to announce another alumni guest?

Side bar: Ouch. Also accurate.

Spencer is going to have to dig deep into the Glee Club Playbook to woo a sensitive hottie.

Spencer is going to have to dig deep into the Glee Club Playbook to woo a sensitive hottie.

Sectionals is in two weeks and they shouldn’t underestimate an audience of…

Kitty: “Jews!”

Will: “No, tweens.”

So the kids are directed to pair up or triple up and find some upbeat catchy numbers for this exciting life event. Woo! Mason sees this as a perfect opportunity to sing with Jane, but mid open mouth and ask, he is jumped by his twin, corralled into doing a gender reversal duet.

Back in the Teacher’s Lounge, Sheldon Beiste enjoys a chicken while Rachel watches in horror (Will and Sam don’t seem too shocked). Fun time to be a vegan!

Sue arrives with no bluster or insults, dropping and spilling like a zombie. Oh gosh, what’s wrong!? It seems Sue has become the slave of one young Myron and hasn’t slept in three days.

Days start with Vitamin drips and pitch sessions. They end with Sue reading the Torah while Myron sleeps, so he can absorb the words. Oh and due to budgetary issues, Sue, Sheldon, Sam, Rachel, and Will are now his back-up dancers.

Wait, what?

Side bar: Man, Kurt is lucky he’s on his honeymoon.

Mason chases Jane down in the hall, finally free of his barnacle. I mean twin. He would love to do a duet with her but alas, she’s paired with Roderick. Yes, but is Roderick taking her for pizza? No? Mr. Bad Ass Male Cheerleader may not have game but Jane is charmed. So yes, if he informs Roderick of the switch, she is totally his.


Spencer coaches Roderick in gym rope climbing by yelling at him, which doesn’t help at all. Roderick has been taunted and teased his entire life and tough love isn’t an effective technique. They get into an argument and Roderick informs him this is why Alistair doesn’t want to go out with him: ’cause he’s a dick.

Will observes this and doesn’t intervene because…well, I don’t know.

Back in the lunchroom, a sparkling happy Mason informs Roderick he’s now singing with Madison and Mason is singing with Jane.

Roderick: “I don’t want to do that.”

Then Mason cuts the lunch line to inform his sister that he’s a) singing with Jane and b) going out on a date with her. Madison vetoes this because a) Jane’s got better legs than Mason and b) she has big hair she likes to toss around to get attention. This quickly devolves into a fight when Mason calls Madison controlling and she freaks out. There’s something about a stomach issue that I tuned out because gross, but the end result is Madison storming out, Jane telling Mason she will sing with Roderick to avoid problems, and the guy they cut in front of in the lunch line getting really upset.

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