Glee S6 Ep8 “A Wedding”

Last week we transitioned and this week…we got married. Glee’s final season is hitting every note they can on the “Happy Ending” list, as episode eight – “Wedding” – finds us celebrating the nuptials of Ms. Brittany Pierce and Ms. Santana Lopez. Among other things. And people.

Despite her grandmother’s refusal to be swayed by the power of the Glee club group number, the wedding is going on as planned. Of course, this being a television wedding, things that should have been done weeks and months before are better used as montages and bits a few days before the big event.

Wedding planner Artie, Britt, Santana, Santana’s mom (hey, it’s Gloria Esteban!), and Britt’s mom (Jennifer Coolidge) are in a barn in Indiana, because gay marriage is illegal in Ohio (in the Glee timeline). No, why are they in a barn, asks Artie.

Let's get this party started!

Let’s get this party started!

Fun story. This is the barn where Whitney ran to when she thought she was having apple butter indigestion but lo and behold, she was having Brittany (who was licked clean by a cow and then swaddled in a Mr. Submarine wrapper). Of course. Mrs. Lopez looks about ready to plotz but fortunately Santana’s happy is able to overcome all things insane. She thinks this is the perfect place to get married.

Artie is willing to work with it, Mrs. Lopez is going to deal, and let’s fade to nighttime and wedding prep, with the New New Directioners and Kurt with a clipboard.

Tina is unhappily moving hay bales – if she’d known this is what volunteering was she wouldn’t have worn heels okay? – while Kurt deals with a Brittany meltdown. She’s concerned the barn isn’t structurally sound and will collapse, killing everyone. Also they need to have a final fitting. Also? Martina Navratilova telegrammed to say she can’t officiate the wedding on account of she doesn’t do that and also she has no idea who they are.

Side bar: One of these concerns is not like the other. Why couldn’t have one of the Glee kids majored in engineering?

Brittany wants to know how Kurt coped with the stresses of wedding planning…which he points out he didn’t have to do, because they called off the wedding.

Brittany: “I find it really hard to keep track of your relationship.”

Kurt: “Let’s just focus on the problems at hand.”

Brittany: “Like the fact that your boyfriend is older than your father?”

Ha.

But oh, that slam gives Kurt an idea: his dad can officiate the wedding! Wow, we’re so lucky Martina cancelled!

We are gathered here together for the worst kept double wedding secret in the history of television

We are gathered here together for the worst kept double wedding secret in the history of television

Officiant crisis settled, the ladies are all at a high-end bridal shop, ready for the final fitting. Santana and Britt will try on dresses, so Rachel, Tina, and Mercedes can give their opinions. Minor quibble? A final fitting implies you’ve picked a dress, ordered it, had it delivered, gone through a fitting, and are now ready to do the final fitting. Instead, it’s a bridal fashion show, which like, if Britt is freaking out about hay bales, this should sent her into a padded room.

But I digress.

A quick warning from Santana: they will be coming out separately since they don’t want to see each other’s dresses before the wedding. This is especially important to Britt, who doesn’t want any bad luck cursing their wedding. Okay! What could possibly go wrong?

They come out with their varied picks, from flapper style and a pantsuit to a light up number that I was kind of hoping made it through. In the end, Brittany picks her favorite and all the girls agree it’s perfect. Then Santana enters and her future bride freaks the hell out about bad luck. Seems she wasn’t joshing about her concerns and is quickly turning hysterical. They kick Santana out of the room but the damage is done.

Which is why Britt shows up the next day at the choir room – where seating arrangements are being handled with tiny chairs and a diorama by the bridesmaids – with a chicken she must sacrifice, in order to get rid of the bad luck.

Rachel squeals in horror as Santana leads her intended and the chicken into the hall.

Brittany: “This is your lucky day, sir.”

The chicken hurries to take his chances in the McKinley hallways.

To distract Brittany, Santana suggests she use her math brain to plan the seating. Well, Britt is still hoping to use the Dewey Decimal System to arrange things which means that Rachel and Kurt should sit together because they are both a little annoying.

But wait – why isn’t Rachel sitting with Sam?

Seems Rachel doesn’t want to hurt Carol and Burt’s feelings by flaunting a new romance in their face. And while she’d been in contact with her almost mother-in-law in the beginning, it’s been awhile and she feels uncomfortable. Mentor!Mercedes points out that the Hudson-Hummels know more than anyone the path from losing a loved one to finding a new one. She thinks they’ll understand. Rachel makes a decision – she puts her little chair next to Sam’s.

Hold up – another problem. Why is there a little chair for Sue? asked Santana. Brittany wants to invite her – after all, they met in Cheerios.

Mercedes: “All I have to say is that if you invite the woman to the wedding, there’s an 80% chance she’s going to ruin it.”

Rachel: “But if you don’t, there’s a 99% chance she will.”

See? Britt isn’t the only math genius in the room. They are not wrong.

Doesn’t matter – Santana makes her decision clear. If Sue is there, she won’t be.

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