Glee S5 Ep17 – “Opening Night”

Sue and Will make sweet music together, even though she calls him Buttchin.

Sue and Will make sweet music together, even though she calls him Buttchin.

Hey, it’s McKinley! Will is stopped by Sue in the hallway; she hears he has an extra seat to New York for Rachel’s opening night since Emma is too pregnant to fly. She graciously offers to take it off his hands – but Will reminds her she hates New York.

We’re treated to a past Sue’s Corner, in which Sue craps all over New York City with special mention of how much she hates Broadway and its bi-curious night of self-congratulations, The Tonys.

Now the broadcast got plenty of attention – mostly angry callers – and the network brass, upon discovering Sue hasn’t visited NY (she’s been just lying about stuff lately) insists she go.

Side bar: What?

Will says okay, but she has to pay him back. And come with him for Rachel’s opening night. Because injecting Sue into the lives of people with feelings is always a good idea. No Will! Bad Will!

Sue shakes a New York City snow globe and magically, she and Will are transformed into tiny people inside. Time for “NYC” from the musical Annie (which Jane Lynch did on Broadway recently), a fun duet between Jane Lynch and Matt Morrison. They sing through a staged version of the city, with cardboard cutouts and local color before winding through the Lima/NYC worm hole and emerging in the city itself.

Back at the Bushwick Loft of It’s Starting To Look Like a Hipster Coffee Commercial, a gaggle of friends have gathered to fill Rachel’s metaphorical cup (and also her literal one). Tina arrives with a slightly sad-looking plant and happily embraces her friend. Rachel is in not speaking mode to save her voice, and this trips an endless spew of Wrong Things out of Tina’s mouth. So glad her silence doesn’t mean she’s lost her voice – that would be terrible! And where is everyone? Artie’s plastic bag movie got selected for a festival in Ft. Lauderdale, but what about Quinn and Puck and Santana – could they not take out time to support their friend? Rachel’s face begins to fall and everyone begins to mentally count down to being the person who will tackle Ms. Cohen-Chang to hush her.

They attempt to distract her by asking about Brown, but all she can share is her roommate doesn’t speak much English and her only boyfriend thus far turned out to be gay. No one is surprised. She almost redeems herself by pointing out she read an article about Funny Girl and they said it was going to be a hit – who cares what some moronic bloggers say! Rachel’s not that short!

Tina gets the yank – she’s being banished to the Brooklyn Brownstone of Alternate Guest Accommodations.

Kurt – cuddling with Bruce, the boyfriend pillow – is woken up by sounds of angry vlogging. Rachel has fallen out of the love bubble and straight into the Internet and newspapers, talking a whole lot of smack about Funny Girl and her ability to pull it off.

A slide of the door reveals Tina, Mercedes, Sam, and Blaine. In hushed tones, Kurt announces that Rachel’s confidence is shattered. She’s taken to her bed and unless they love her into a delirious state, everything she’s worked for will be destroyed.

Never fear, they’re up for it!

Sam sits on the bed and strums a song for Rachel… (She cuts his strings.)

Blaine enters with a massage table some “magic hands” to make her feel better… (We don’t see what she does to stop that but I’m guessing the finger was presented.)

Kurt brings a gift basket from – what’s this? Barbra herself?! (Except he of all people should know that Barbra dropped an A from her name as an act of rebellion, and the aforementioned basket is sent flying into the middle of the room.)

Sam and Kurt blame Twitter for this mess, but Mercedes thinks it’s the sheer volume of criticism being heaped onto Rachel – it’s almost too much for her strong shoulders to manage. What can they do to help her?

Side bar: So much meta about Internet hate towards celebrities in this episode! Time to consider the consequences of our actions when Tweeting and blogging and commenting? There are actual people on the other end of the barb.

Things that won’t help Rachel? The arrival of Sue Sylvester at their door. Kurt, you should really lock that thing…

Sue is here to spend the night (the hotel gave them a queen instead of two twins so clearly Will’s trying to sleep with her) and oh, watch Rachel choke!

Rachel: “I can hear you! I’m right in the next room!”

She takes Kurt’s room and Tina’s chillingly intones, “Things could not get any worse.”

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