Glee S5 E4 – “A Katy or a Gaga”

Being the edgiest person in their group as a former stripper, Sam takes over the Katys Doing Gagas performance. Blaine, Marley, Artie and Ryder – he’s got his work cut out for him. He needs crazy ideas! In your face ideas! Kick the fourth wall ideas! Declare this number clinically insane ideas! Marley suggests sparklers – but it’s crazy because they’re inside! Ryder thinks confetti shaped like human skulls… No, no, those aren’t the ideas Sam is looking for (and sound more like a bad ass eight year old boy’s birthday party). He gives them the sheet music for “Applause” and hustles to guarantee an audience for their number.

Sam struts his stuff in "Applause" and yes, he gets a standing ovation for that costume.

Sam struts his stuff in “Applause” and yes, he gets a standing ovation for that costume.

And he goes to the head Little Monster of McKinley – Becky Jackson. Except she doesn’t know who Gaga is or Katy Perry (“the governor of Texas?”) but nonetheless, Becky’s off to round-up people for the audience. If only to shut Sam up! (“Rude.”)

At the Bushwick Loft, Rachel needs to have a little chat with Kurt. She saw Starchild’s audition video and why did Kurt pass him up? He’s so talented! But Kurt reiterates that he’s too out there – Kurt wants this band to be more mainstream. He’s done with the quirky, weird, sidekick thing. He wants financial security, a song on the radio – which apparently became priorities as he’s watched his best friend book a Broadway show and his other friend film a commercial. Kurt wants more. He wants that. Luckily, his best friend and biggest fan has some pep talk in her back pocket. She loves that Kurt isn’t like everyone else, that he’s unique and specific and special. Despite it being hard, he needs to make his own path in the world. And she is sure that path will be all the fame and success and satisfaction he wants. Rachel also encourages him to reconsider about Starchild – he’s a true talent and blaze-your-own-path person as well. Wouldn’t it be good to team up with him?

Unfortunately, Kurt doesn’t have his number nor his real name. Why isn’t there a directory for stage names in NYC? I imagine it would come in handy.

Jake and Marley excitedly plan for this weekend – once again, a mix of wholesome and edgy that never seem to click together. Bree arrives and asks Jake to help her choreograph a routine for the Cheerios, since he’s the best dancer in this hell hole. Thank you? Jake demurs but Marley encourages him – he loves to dance and he’s so talented. What a nice girlfriend! Bree says thanks and sayshays away and we all read the writing on the wall. It spells bad things.

During announcements, Becky takes over and (dressed in a Gaga nun outfit) beseeches everyone to turn on their laptops. They are then treated to Sam in a Gaga performance piece, with subtitles and a mask and well – everyone is confused. Even Brett the Stoner doesn’t understand! And Penny is…horrified. Will anyone show up for the “Applause” performance?

Sam checks in with Penny – can she make the performance? Seems she can’t, as she’s getting a new piercing. Funny story, says Sam, so is he! They should totally do that this weekend. Penny falls for Sam’s pleading puppy dog eyes and agrees. Step one – achieved!

Over on the Gagas-being-Katy’s side, things are going no less dramatically. Unique, Kitty and Tina are thinking up some giant spectacles for their number – plastic bags with amniotic fluid! Tigers and lions released from the local zoo! Making the audience their slaves! A little off course – and Jake is lying face down on the piano in boredom. He’s done – it’s been five hours – and he has to go help the Cheerios with a number. Kitty does a spot on impersonation of Bree – she knows what’s up!

Unique calls Marley.

She tries to give her friend council – a manslut cannot change his stripes! Marley listens to Unique’s rant (highlights: Penis flytrap and hashtag preach), all the while defending her man…until she spies him dancing with Bree. Unique tells her to go full Gaga but Marley’s got a set on her. If he doesn’t want to be with her – the way she is now – he can just go.

Hashtag preach.

Time for “Applause”. The audience is filled with…Glee club, Penny, Stoner Brett and Becky. Not exactly a full house.

It’s almost an exact recreation of the original video, right down to the crazy – and revealing – costumes. With Sam on lead vocals, they command the stage and leave the Katy behind…except for Marley, who is dressed as Katy in a pink wig and cutesy dress.

Those Katys have left sanity and sparkles behind.

Those Katys have left sanity and sparkles behind.

There’s applause at the end but Sam is furious. Why isn’t Marley in costume? She says she wasn’t comfortable. Well, the boys all point out they weren’t comfortable in their outrageous costumes (and showing a ton of skin) but it was the assignment. Marley – still smarting obviously over the Jake/Bree thing – insists she’s her own person and she’s not changing. Mr. Schue doesn’t take her assertion of self as a positive – and suspends her from Glee Club for the week. She storms out as Jake watches.

The Gagas as Katys continue to bicker, freaking out as today is performance day and how do they beat Katys as Gagas doing Gagas with a Katy! Unsolvable riddle. Plus, the lions and tigers idea went out the window since (plot twist!) Lima doesn’t even have a zoo! Unique has back up though – Jake is dressed in lion make up and a wig!

“I look like a gay Thundercat,” he says, in the line of the night.

Tina gets it right though – no gimmicks this time, just music. Strip it down to the basics and the emotions.

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