Glee S4 Ep22 – All or Nothing

Back at McKinley, Sue and Will have summoned Brittany to speak to them after hours. Sue has taken a break from teaching aerobics to weight challenged soccer moms because she and Will are concerned about their student. But Brittany refuses to speak in the dusty office with Mr. Schue’s creepy Teacher of the Year award picture. They’re going to do this on her turf.

Yes, that’s right, Fondue for Two! Or three in this case.

Brittany isn’t much interested in hearing what the “adults” have to say – she delivers a quick rundown of their relationship (enemies, friends, enemies, friends, enemies, no one cares), and then quickly moves into meta so delicious you want to dip it in hot cheese. Will and Emma are getting married! Do they plan to have children, or will he just continue to have weird emotional relationships with high school students? Also, she answers the burning question of two seasons: the father of Sue’s baby.

*drumroll*

Michael Bolton!

There’s even a scrapbook of evidence, and for the record, he and Sue did it all night long. Will is horrified and squirmy and no one ever gets to the root of Brittany’s meltdown. Maybe she really is a genius.

Sam earns another tic mark in the “Such a Good Guy” standings by placing an important call. To Santana, because she’s the only other person who understands Brittany and will help him find out what’s wrong. This isn’t Brittany 3.0 week. This is something bigger. For all her bluster, Santana stops her insults and looks thoughtful. Awww, you guys.

Oh boys!

Oh, boys!

At Breadstix, Jan and her girlfriend Liz (Meredith Baxter! Holy smokes!) are chatting with Blaine and Kurt, who I guess missed the memo that this is a double date. Or not, because he’s dressed all snazzy and Kurt-like. Jan and Liz are cute as can be, discussing their relationship and the rocky road they’ve traveled together for the past thirty years. Unable to attend prom together as a couple. Breaking up (and getting back together). The changing times for GLBT people – AIDS to DADT to Ellen. All of it together, side by side. Blaine is almost vibrating in his seat as he looks at Kurt.

Kurt is delighted by their story but he’s curious about something. How did Blaine and Jan meet? Blaine babbles a story about the food court at the mall (Sbarro’s, Blaine? Really?) and Jan steps in smoothly. Yes, exactly. And she wanted to continue the conversation over dinner.

Liz comments on what a sweet couple the boys are, but Kurt says they’re not a couple and everyone goes “oh Kurt” in their heads, including Blaine. Oh, Kurt!

Jan and Liz need to be regulars, dispensing advice to the Glee kids while being adorable.

Jan and Liz need to be regulars, dispensing advice to the Glee kids while being adorable.

Jan brings up the topic of marriage – Liz would have said yes to a proposal, by the way, at any point during their thirty years together. If and when it’s legal in Ohio, of course. Jan’s sure it will be, soon enough. In fact, she’s so sure she whips out an engagement ring, gets down on one knee, and proposes to her girlfriend to the delight of the boys and the restaurant. Liz says yes as the places breaks into applause. And Blaine looks something between wistful and thinky.

In the hallowed halls of McKinley, Marley nervously tries to talk to Ryder. He can be mad at her, but he shouldn’t punish everyone by dropping out of Regionals. They need him. She follows him through the classrooms and down the hall, pleading. Ryder isn’t having the guilt trip – he just wants to know why. If they’re such an incredible team, why did she lie to him and mess with his head? Marley doesn’t have an answer for that, mostly because it’s not her who was the Catfish.

Unique steps out of the shadows, surprising them both. She loves Marley, but her friend doesn’t have to lie for her anymore. She’s Katie.

Marley has Unique's back, always.

Marley has Unique’s back, always.

Flashback to Unique tearfully telling Marley the truth. It was innocent at first, but then things got serious and intimate between them, and then she was in too deep to tell the truth – that she wasn’t a cute little blond girl.

Back in the hallway, Ryder is struck dumb with shock. Unique apologizes and says she knows he is probably going to punch her, but she wants him to know that while the picture was a lie, the feelings they shared were real. Ryder recovers enough to tell Unique he’s not going to hit her, but he’s also never going to speak to her again. Because they don’t have anything.

He walks away as Unique watches sadly.

Side bar: Unique as the catfish was not a shocking revelation. But her understandable point of view and Ryder’s sense of betrayal are well played and hit pretty deeply. It’s not very often you can sympathize with both parties equally in a scenario!

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