Glee S4 Ep22 – All or Nothing

Shake your moneymakers, new New Directions!

It’s that time of the year – to look back on the season that was and begin the mindless speculation of the next, wondering what new delights (and hairstyles) the fall will bring.

Glee fans have a little less concern on where the McKinley High kids, teachers, and graduates will be when the leaves begin to turn – apparently, we’re going to be in the choir room, celebrating a wedding, waiting for an engagement, and wondering about a new romance. Can’t wait.

“All or Nothing” – Glee’s fourth season finale – had a lot of work to do and only succeeded in finishing about 70%. With the extended school year – and a historic lack of ability to actually write cliffhangers – we were pretty sure where we’d end up.

The episode is a whirlwind, cramming in some things that had to be done due to unexpected pregnancy (congrats Heather Morris!) and rearranging things thanks to unexplained absences (Finn, who?). Things were wrapped up, such as Wemma (will we see even less of Matt Morris and Jayma Mays in season 5?), and we said goodbye to Brittany. The Catfish story got an entirely expected ending – though I’m interested to see how they take the storyline into season 5. Fan favorites – and now clearly the main Glee couple – Kurt and Blaine seemed to be hurtling down a new and very grown-up storyline which signals a whole different set of challenges come September. And will Rachel move from NYADA student to Funny Girl lead? Is it September yet?

We open on Brittany at MIT, with two of the bigwigs of the school. They’re trying to solve the puzzle that is Ms. Pierce – her SAT scores versus her .02 GPA. Her crayon-filled math test score was a zero (and it broke the Scantron machine), but her doodles of numbers on the back of her booklet have the MIT dudes agog. Our favorite blonde cheerleader, it turns out, might be one of the greatest scientific minds since Einstein! They have an offer for Brittany…

The title card – Glee by Brittany – should have really told us all we needed to know about the episode.

Back in Ohio, Ryder is still mired in Katie the Catfish. He asks for her real name via text, then has a quick fantasy of his friends answering. It’s Kitty. It’s Blaine. It’s Unique. Marley begs him not to be mad. As Mr. Schue starts talking about Regionals, Ryder looks like he’s about to Hulk out.

Worried about tornadoes, Indy has declined, and so as reigning champions, New Directions gets to host the competition, thereby eliminating the need for a bus. But we thank you for the half-naked boy calendar earlier in the year anyway. Due to a sexting scandal, the Nuntouchables are out, but the WaffleToots from Ziegler Prep are in (oh, they’re good, says the resident expert on prep schools Blaine Anderson). Tiny Frieda and the Hoosierdaddies are still the odds-on favorites, mostly because they have an awesome name. But never fear new New Directions: Mr. Schue is going to unleash a hearty pep talk and invoke the name of St. Rachel of Berry, who at this Very Moment, is about to attend her final callback for the role of Fanny Brice on Broadway.

Rachel’s climbing the last bit of the mountain on her own. Next stop: the Great White Way?

Hi Rachel! She’s alone (since everyone else is in Ohio and she wasn’t invited, what’s up with that?) and bowing her head in silent prayer that this storyline turns out exactly the way we all know it will. A little tension would be nice, Glee.

She whips out Celine Dion’s “To Love You More” – a favorite of Lea Michele’s apparently – and continues to awe the producers by not singing Broadway songs for her auditions. Of course she sounds fabulous, because it’s a Celine song and she’s Rachel and those things were meant to be together. It’s the perfect love story and Rachel is moved to tears. I have a good feeling about this, just saying.

Thank you Rachel, we’ll let you know in Season 5.

Back to Ohio, where Blaine and sidekick Sam are loping through the hallways. Blaine, it seems, is still bitten by the marriage bug and wants to think of the perfect proposal scenario. Because you only do this once, after all. Sam has an expression like he’s trying to do long division while juggling. Hold up – they’re still in high school and Sam isn’t letting Blaine do this! Blaine – having already gotten the “Are you Nuts?” speech from his holiness Burt Hummel – isn’t much interested in Sam’s forbidding. Sam tries again – a few weeks ago Blaine didn’t even know what was going on with that Adam guy (fair point, but then the audience has no idea either). Blaine volleys back with a shot about Sam marrying Brittany over Christmas. Exactly! Sam regretted it as soon as the world didn’t end! Blaine has no time for this convo – he’s tired of waiting, it’s happening, and oh by the way? As one of his best friends, Blaine was hoping Sam would be his best man.

This clearly throws Sam’s protestations for a curve. He wants that part!