Glee S4, Ep6 – “Glease”

50’s badassery in 2012 Lima, Ohio!

“Glease” is the word as McKinley High puts on their production of Grease. But using the word “glee.”  Badly.

Will starts things off with a quick announcement — he’s leaving for his blue ribbon panel job in Washington, right before sectionals, and oh by the way, his replacement is Finn.

This is met with histrionics (Tina) and confusion (Wade, who rightly points out, “It’s not like we really know him”) as the choir room erupts. Finn promises he can do this, and he has great ideas! Really! That four weeks in the Army and various failed career decisions (remember The Actor’s Studio?) really prepared him to take over the Glee Club right before their first big competition.

Maybe Tina is right and they’ll all be dead by then.

Out of the frying pan and into the fire as Sue interrupts. Time for another fun meeting in Principal Figgins’ office.

Apparently Sue has the choir room bugged (that fat lady on the plaque? Her eyes are cameras), and she’s found out that Finn is taking over New Directions. She points out he has no degree and no experience, but oops — Glee is an extra curricular and all they need is an adult volunteer, and apparently, Finn qualifies for both of those things.

Sue lays down the law. If Finn takes over, her peace treaty with the arts at McKinley is over and she will reign down her wrath upon them. To illustrate, she rampages through the halls, spilling students to the ground to the strain of angry opera.

She’s baaack.

In New York, Cassandra is grouchy and conducting dance class — must be a day with a vowel in it. Brody seeks out Rachel for some chitchat and pulse taking, and you know, earnest flirting. She’s over Finn and therefore ready to conquer New York career-wise. First up? An audition for an off-Broadway production of The Glass Menagerie.

Cassandra’s main hobby these days is making Rachel’s life hell.

Cassie watches Brody and Rachel dance across the floor, and she can’t miss an opportunity to tell her least favorite student that she isn’t ready for Ivan (the crazy director). Not enough wounds, not tough enough. Rachel disagrees, politely, then offers up a suggestion of her own. Why doesn’t Cassandra audition as well? For Amanda: the faded Southern Belle with a pitiful life? That goes over like a lead balloon.

Changing tactics, Cassandra calls Brody over — she’s in need of a TA who frequently forgets to wear shirts and doesn’t like to have free time. Is he available? Sure! Right after he helps Rachel with her audition. She agrees. A little too quickly.

Oh Schwimmer.

Back at McKinley, Tina is trying to wrangle Marley into her Sandy costume, but she must be “stress bloating.” Sugar and Brittany love their costumes, which fit perfectly. Evil Kitty arrives to insult everyone and the audience’s intelligence in a fit of name-calling, finally arriving at her main target: Marley.

Flashback! Kitty has been taking in Marley’s costume thereby gaslighting her into thinking she’s fat.

It’s just too horrific to continue typing about.

Everyone gets amnesia ten seconds later (remember when she threw hate speech at you all?) when Kitty invites them to a sleepover! Wait, what? Don’t you people have the ability to wear pajamas and eat pizza at your own homes? You don’t need a permit or anything.

Marley says sure because she’s naive to the point of being an actual turnip just fallen off the truck, but only if Unique comes. Kitty says yes, with an insult.

Yay?