Misfits S01E05

Previously on Misfits: Curtis took a few trips back in time to fix his past, but just ended up keeping his girlfriend out of jail.  Now he’s accidentally dating both her and Alisha.  And Nathan really did get arrested for eating some candy.

Simon’s filming everyone lazing about, but suddenly Nathan grabs the cell phone and calls Simon a pervert, presumably for lurking around constantly filming them.  You know you’re in a sorry state when Nathan has a point.  Nathan tries to interview Simon, asking him if he’s ever had sex with a piece of fruit, and if it was a melon.  Simon’s not amused; he demands his phone back, but only receives it when Kelly intervenes and smacks Nathan until he lets it go.  Does this mean Kelly’s the mom of the group?  Frightening.

Sally’s brought in Pete the Police Officer to prove to him that the misfits have something to do with Tony’s disappearance.  Only she brings him to the locker room and proceeds with her breaking-and-entering right in front said officer of the law.  Smart.  Pete the Police Officer wants to know why, if she found Tony’s credit card among Simon’s things, she put it back.  Sally says it’s because they need to find the credit card with Simon’s things, so it can be used as evidence.  Um, but aren’t you obtaining that evidence illegally, thus making it inadmissible?

Pete the Police Officer just points out that, even if Simon has the credit card, it’s not proof that he killed Tony and they can only charge him with fraud at most.  He tells Sally that if she keeps this up she’ll lose her job.  Given the track record for probation officers around here, she’s lucky if that’s all that happens to her.

Sally conducts one-on-one interviews with everyone in her office, to ask them their thoughts on community service.  This is probably some legitimate part of their rehabilitation, but Sally’s going to use it to try to get more information about Tony, at least out of Simon.  The others respond predictably.  Curtis has only one thing to say: he’s learned not to get caught.  Alisha texts and takes calls on her phone.  Nathan says that the only way he’s changed is that perhaps he’s grown taller and Kelly’s response is the best: “They graffiti and we clean it off.  They graffiti and we clean it off.  They graffiti and we clean it off.  What is that about?  Do I look like I’m some kind of f-ing knob?  Do I?”

When it’s Simon’s turn, Sally spends the whole time buttering him up.  She tells him that it must be hard, given that he’s more mature and different from the others.  She’s all smiles and warm shoulders, commiserating with him and offering to get him some film editing work experience with a friend.  She even thanks him for being someone she “can actually have a conversation with.”  If this were anyone else but the desperately lonely Simon they’d be on to her, but it’s not.  It looks like we’re going to get more Creeper Simon this episode (sobs), as his probation worker seems out to seduce him for information on her dead boyfriend.  Everyone’s just so full of class on this show.

Sure enough, Sally follows Simon home from community service.  She offers him a ride, though it’s more like she insists.  Sally’s all chatty on the ride home, trying to gossip about Curtis and Alisha (she brings up Alisha’s looks again and I seriously do not understand her fixation, it’s not like that has anything to do with Tony and just stop, Sally) and about Simon’s hobbies.

That night she chats with him (unbeknownst to him) as Shy Girl and encourages him to ask out the girl he says he met that day.  Simon’s perceptive enough to say that he thinks this girl (Sally) is lonely, so then I don’t know how he doesn’t realize she’s fishing around for evidence.  Probably because, as he says, he’s lonely too.  Well, yeah, no one wants to hang out with creepers, Simon.  Fix that and you just might get some friends.

Curtis ditches Alisha that evening, though he takes pains to do so flirtatiously enough that she doesn’t notice (for now, at least) that she’s being put off.  Then he goes to meet Sam and breaks up with her.  Well, at least he’s trying to do the right thing in a really messed up, unprecedented situation.  Of course, the minute Sam’s tears come out, Curtis’ regret at hurting her rewinds time to just before his attempted break up.  He puts it off for now, and yeah, that’s a doozy: how do you break up with someone you care about without hurting them and regretting it?

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