Misfits S01E01

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We find out that whatever Curtis did, he used to be a celebrity athlete and derailed a glamorous sports career.  Kelly says that he came to her school to give a talk about athletics, and Nathan, reclining in a wheelchair, mentions that he must not be going to the Olympics now.  Oh, it’s drugs: the rumors are crack dealing and steroids.  That latter one rankles Curtis; he insists he’s not a cheat.

He admits that he was caught with cocaine, but the others don’t believe it.  No one gets community service for possession.  Really?  I thought people went to jail for hard drugs.  Shows how much I know, though I wouldn’t put it past all those elementary school D.A.R.E. programs to exaggerate.  Anyway, Curtis says that they wanted to make an example of him.

Nathan, reverting to his natural loud-mouthed state, starts winding up Curtis, telling him he let everyone down: his parents, the kids, the nation, etc.  Curtis looks like he wants to hit him, but Alisha distracts him by asking if they want to know what she did to land her in probation.

Kelly’s crying in an alleyway, understandably shaken.  I want to console her with booze and ice cream, I think she’d appreciate that.  Tony lurches up to her, calling her scum.  We jump back to Alisha, and the picture switches back and forth from her narrating the story about her arrest to Kelly, pursued by Tony, running for her life.

Alisha says a cop pulled her over as they were driving back from a party, and she’s already in trouble because she’s banned from driving.  A cop gives her a breathalyzer and she asks, “Do I suck, or blow?”  Alisha illustrates her point by fellating her water bottle.  The boys are suitably distracted.

Alisha finishes her story, whining that performing sex acts on a breathalyzer didn’t get her out of being arrested.  Who’da thunk, right?  Kelly bursts through the door, saying that the probation worker has gone insane and is trying to kill her.  Also, the storm gave her weird powers.  Nathan recovers from Alisha’s dalliance with the water bottle and gives Kelly a hard time, replying to her question about why he’s in a wheelchair:  “It was the storm, the strange tingling sensation in my anus has spread through my body and now, I can’t feel my legs.”

Simon at least takes Kelly seriously, and says that something happened to him, too.  “Aw, did you pop your cherry?” Nathan asks, “we’re all very happy for you.”  Nathan, let Simon talk.  Simon tries to tell the others that he turned invisible in the locker room, but only Kelly believes him.  Nathan tells Simon to prove it: turn invisible.  Simon tries, but he can’t control his power yet.

Curtis heads toward the door, but Kelly pushes him out of the way.  Just in time: Tony bursts through, having acquired something that looks like a scythe (appropriate, that), and smashes Kelly’s head into the wall.

She drops, as Curtis looks on in horror.  Time slows as the blood pools out of Kelly’s head.  We zoom in on Curtis’ eyes as we see a replay of what just happened, and then, BAM, we rewind a couple of minutes.  Aww, Hiro Nakamura!  My favorite thing about Heroes (I’m sure you’re all very surprised, I have an obvious type), until they ruined that like everything else.  Well, Curtis, Tony may have gotten powers from the bottom of the heap, but you got the top.  Time travel/rewind is pretty awesome.

This time when Kelly tries to warn everyone about the probation worker Curtis backs her up.  Nathan accuses him of claiming to be psychic too, and Curtis recounts everything that just happened, saying that after probation worker came in and killed Kelly, time rewound.  Alisha: “What are you saying, you turned back time?”  All right everyone, go for it, you know you want to: “If I could turn back ti-hime!  If I could find a way-ey!”

Incredulous, Nathan looks out the window, but he sees Tony carrying around his metal railing scythe thing.  Unfortunately Tony sees him too, and he runs toward the door.  “Maybe he’s on crystal meth, that stuff makes you crazy,” Alisha says.  “My friend Chloe did it, she nearly shagged her brother, and he’s really ugly.”  Glad to see your priorities are in place, Alisha.

Simon, smarty that he is, figures out that Tony wrote the “I’m going to kill you” graffiti.  Everyone starts turning on each other; they can’t call the police, because Tony took their phones, so they start squabbling instead.  Kelly says she’s sick of everyone judging her for being a chav; she rightly points out that she could have left them all there to die, but she came to warn them.  See, another reason why I want Kelly to be my friend.

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