Game of Thrones, S2 Ep10 – Valar Morghulis

Game of Thrones, S2 Ep10 -- Dany and her dragons

After last week’s episode narrowed down their ensemble cast and the variety of locations in which the show takes place to just two, I wondered how the season finale would feel once we returned to everyone.  In a special extended episode, we saw the characters receive an end to their stories while drawing us in for the third season and leaving us with more questions than ever. While the changes from certain characters and settings to other characters and settings sometimes left me feeling a little bit whiplashed, I enjoyed watching all of my favorite characters have their lives torn apart. (Oh, that sounds wrong.)

Game of Thrones, S2 Ep10 -- Tyrion's eyeThe episode opens with a close shot of Tyrion’s eye, twitching around and kind of creeping me out (I have a thing with eyes). The camera pans out to show him with a bandage across his face, laying in a bed while that pesky Maester Pycelle waits on him. He asks Tyrion if he would like milk of the poppy, Tyrion refuses and asks him to tell Cersei that he’s “very much alive”. He wonders where he is and finds out that since his father, Tywin Lannister, has returned, he is no longer acting as Hand of the King. All of that hard work put into winning this battle, only to be outshone by his dad.  Ouch. When will Tyrion stop being shat upon? When will everyone on this show stop being shat upon?

Apparently not any time soon because in the next scene, I am slightly horror-stricken as we get a nice shot of a horse’s behind as it Game of Thrones, S2 Ep10 -- Margaery, Loras, Littlefingerpoops. The horse shits a little more and we find out that the person atop the shitting horse is Tywin Lannister, who may also be a bit of a shitting horse himself (a brilliant shitting horse–but really? Was the horse shit truly necessary?). Tywin strides in on his poopy horse, where Joffrey sits in the Iron Throne, with this look on his face that is essentially begging me to slap him. After some formal words, Joffrey announces Tywin officially as Hand of the King and gives him the little pin to prove it. The next order of business is to bring up Petyr Baelish a.k.a. Littlefinger (I almost accidentally typed that as “Littlefucker”, which may actually be more suiting) and to appoint him as Lord of Harrenhal. At this point, I simply laugh because being given Harrenhal is like being given a termite-infested shack that your realtor insists can be transformed into a mansion. Littlefinger takes it with a smug expression anyways and the always beautiful Loras Tyrell steps up to the king. Loras proposes that Joffrey marry his sister, Margaery, claiming that she’s “still innocent.” Margaery then steps forward and waxes poetic on Joffrey’s “courage and wisdom,” causing my stomach to ache with riotous laughter. Joffrey returns the compliment, but alas, he is “promised to another.” Cersei steps forward and advises him against marrying a beheaded traitor’s daughter whose Game of Thrones, S2 Ep10 -- Sansa smilingbrother is at war with him, insisting Sansa Stark be set aside. Joffrey once again claims that he can’t break a promise, quite obviously for show, when Maester Pycelle tells him that the Gods don’t mind him marrying Margaery because Sansa sucks (or something like that). Joffrey then agrees and says he looks forward to marrying Margaery. We see Sansa with a heartbroken expression on her face, before she walks away and a gorgeous smile appears on her features at the realization that she’s free from Joffrey; it was like witnessing a bunny rabbit jump rope. Of course, Sansa can never stay happy for long, so Littlefinger catches up with her to destroy her bliss.

Littlefinger tells her the truth: Joffrey will still keep her in his clutches, only instead of getting married and having babies, she will be abused and having bastards. He then offers to take Sansa home to Winterfell, mentioning how akin she is to her mother and how fond of her he was (claiming their bond was “sisterly,” when he really wanted to tap that and put a ring on it). Anyhow, Sansa refuses his offer to help, saying “King’s Landing is my home now.” Of course, nobody buys this, especially Littlefinger, who responds by saying, “Look around you. We’re all liars here, and every one of us is better than you.” Zinger!

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