Glee, S3 Ep18 – Choke

I defy anyone's eyes to not be immediately drawn to Colfer's crotch. Battle of the Bulge indeed.

Time for NYADA auditions . . . and Kurt nails it. After giving up on his original idea of performing “Music of the Night” from Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera (which can I just say, shame on the show for not releasing this as a single this week. Chris Colfer’s voice on this song was phenomenal and I’d like to hear the entire thing) for his NYADA audition, in the 11th hour Kurt goes with his gut and instead chooses to perform “Not The Boy Next Door” from the Peter Allen bio-musical, The Boy From Oz. Because Ms. Carmen Tibideaux, who he is auditioning for, has heard “Music of the Night” hundreds of times before, and Kurt’s smart — he realizes he needs to do something that will make him stand out. This was something he’d already been thinking about doing, but Rachel talked him out of it. This was the perfect piece for Kurt and Colfer himself. And no, I’m not just saying that because the sight of Colfer dancing in those gold fitted pants is hypnotizing. The whole performance (and yes, that includes the fact that he’s got a tear-away tux on, and his “swans” were on standby) just screams Kurt. And it even gives him a chance to show a bit of his range!

Well, it works. He gets a compliment from Ms. Tibideaux, and leaves the stage gleeful. We may not know for sure if he’s been accepted, but something tells me this woman doesn’t give compliments easily. Plus, it’s television and it’s about damn time Kurt got something good in his life, so I’m going to guess he gets in.

. . . and Rachel chokes. Of course, we get about five minutes to revel in Kurt’s amazing performance before it is immediately overshadowed by Rachel’s failure. First it’s when he becomes a NYADA finalist, now this. Can Kurt please be happy for a little while before his best friend immediately makes everything about her? This is getting old.

Rachel sykes herself up for that audition.

So yes, after building up to this moment for her entire life, Rachel ends up biting it big time when her big audition comes up, and it’s on her standby — “Don’t Rain On My Parade” from Funny Girl, which she’s been belting out since she was two. She gets the words wrong, and then she starts over and screws up even earlier in the song. Ms. Tibideaux is not having any of that, because you know what happens to you when you screw up on Broadway? They give your part to your understudy. So, apparently Rachel’s big time New York dream ends without her even getting out of Lima. OUCH. I’ll admit, part of me just didn’t care because we’ve been beaten over the head with so much Rachel and Finn this season, and with everyone else in the cast being overlooked or given terrible storylines, that I just don’t care what happens to either of them anymore. But then Lea Michele is amazing and really sells Rachel’s despair, and it’s kind of hard not to cry for her. Especially when she sings a heart wrenching version of Kelly Clarkson’s “Cry” which brings us to the end of the episode.

Of course again, this is television, and this whole show is apparently about Rachel now. So who wants to bet this is all wrapped up in a nice little bow by the end of the Season? No takers?

Quotes, Anecdotes, and Noteworthy Moments

Forever bitter Colfer's cover of "Music of the Night" wasn't released as a single

– Thank you Rachel Berry for being worried about catching germs. It means we don’t have to watch Finchel kiss for once. Yay!
– “I’m starting from scratch. I need something fresh. I need something edgy. I need something completely unpredictable. Or maybe I just need more candles.” – Kurt
“Oh god no. No more candles.” – Blaine – I can just imagine that Blaine was the one who had to set up all those candleabras and light the candles. Plus, it’s funny because the boys first duet as boyfriends, “Candles”, is one of their fans’ and Criss and Colfer’s least favorite pieces they’ve ever done on the show.
– “Tell me Liza’s okay.” – Kurt after Rachel talks to him when she said she wouldn’t unless William and Kate got pregnant, Liza passed, or she or Kurt were in danger.
– At an event at the Television Academy of Arts and Sciences, Colfer admitted to having to have two fittings for the infamous gold pants during his NYADA audition number. He said he had no idea it would be a “Battle of the Bulge.”
– How did Rachel get from the stage where she was dressed as Christine, completely with curly hair, to the audience, where she was back to normal Rachel, so quickly? Don’t think we didn’t notice that.

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