Glee, S3 Ep11 – Michael

Wanna Be Startin Somethin

When did the Warblers become total douchebags? Last year I honestly wanted a Warblers spin off. I loved those boys. And then in one episode they manage to make me hate them so much I wish they’d never grace the screen again. Nice job, writers. I just don’t understand what happened to turn them from such nice, friendly, accepting boys, to dicks who not only help Sebastian assault someone who was supposed to be their friend (Kurt), and then walk away when someone who definitely saw them as his best friends (as recently as 3×05 Kurt was referring to The Warblers in a way that made me think Blaine was still closer to them than he was to most of New Directions) is writhing on the floor in agony. Were Wes and his gavel the only thing keeping these boys in control?!

There was a scene before “Bad” that was cut from the episode because of time. It featured Blaine, Kurt, Santana, Rachel and Artie going to Dalton to talk to The Warblers, and them then performing the Jackson 5 number, “I Want You Back.” I’m really hoping we get to see this on the DVDs or something, because I get the feeling there was some major development we missed out on there. I don’t get why Blaine looks at those boys with so loathing at the beginning of “Bad,” and then they don’t even seem to know what’s happened to him until Santana shows up to confront Sebastian about having put something into the slushie. Of course, they then bring yet another slushie to Sebastian, this time for Santana, so I think we’ve proved they’re all just asses now. I don’t care about them joining New Directions on stage at the end of the episode, those boys are on my shit list now.

Blaine Gets Slushied

Nice shot, Gustin.

Sebastian gets off scot free. He premeditates an attack  on another boy by bringing a slushie with him, that he then laces with rock salt in order to cause some form of damage beyond the usual, does in fact cause some pretty serious damage that might actually result in someone losing their vision in one eye…and nothing happens to him. I don’t even know where to start with that. Nearly everyone’s comments about the incident are ludicrous. Mr. Schue saying they have no evidence he intended to hurt Blaine? It shouldn’t matter, he brought the damn slushie to throw at someone. Whether they have evidence of the rock salt or not he should be in some serious trouble for assault because even if it was just somehow the ice that caused the damage it still did cause that damage, and that’s what matters. And what happened to Dalton’s zero tolerance policy? Does it only apply to Dalton students? I mean those boys were wearing their Dalton uniforms, their headmaster should be livid. But apparently it’s just brushed off. And then Blaine gets no say in what happens to Sebastian? I mean, I get that this was basically supposed to be a big moment for Kurt. He decides to be a bigger person. Thing is, there’s a huge difference between getting someone back with violence for something they did, or making someone pay legally for committing a crime. There had to have been a better way for this to play out. I get that the whole thing was just a contrived way of getting Criss out of a couple episodes while he’s on Broadway, but it would have been easier to accept if there hadn’t been anything in the slushie, but something about the way Blaine went down made him break something, or some other damage that happened because of the attack, but wasn’t a direct result of what Sebastian put into the slushie. And Grant Gustin has the option of becoming a regular on the show? How the hell are you ever going to keep him around after something like this? If we get another ridiculous story about how he just has all these feelings like Karofsky I may puke. Please just tell me Kurt didn’t give Sebastian the only copy of the tape of his confession?

Smooth Criminal

Would have been perfect, if Gustin could sing.

All those others songs I didn’t talk about yet. “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin” was easily my favorite, and no, not just because of Criss. It was a fun song, even if the whole vegetable thing threw me (apparently I never listened to those lyrics closely ’cause what?). But yeah, I usually just enjoy the songs that are thrown in for no reason at all and the kids get to have fun with. So yeah, it wins. “Bad” was silly, but enjoyable until the slushie.  “Scream” has never been a favorite of mine, but it was fun. I always love when Kevin McHale gets to get up and dance for a bit, even if it does make me sad they put one of their best dancers in a wheelchair. “Never Can Say Goodbye” was a nice moment for Quinn, even if I don’t feel like it was earned. There should have been more leading up to this big reversal for her, and though this touched me, I can’t help but wish we’d have seen a real payoff for all the crap we had to put through in the first 9 episodes. Definitely preferred the bit with her in the choir room to the rest of the song though. It just felt more real and appropriate for the song and the storyline. “Ben” was terrible. Just terrible. I wish Colfer had used some of his power to influence the writers (he’s made song suggestions in the past) to make them pick a different song. But maybe there weren’t any other songs that were generic enough because of course they’ve filled their queer representation quota for the first half of the season by letting the boys be in the same bed together. Hence shoehorning of Finchel into a scene that should really have been about a boy comforting his boyfriend who is worried about a surgery. Their being there just makes no sense when we didn’t get to just see the two boys together or Kurt’s reaction to Blaine taking the slushie for him in the first place. If time was limited, that’s what we should have had, not this terrible song. “Smooth Criminal” would have been the best had it not been for the fact that I’m sorry, but Grant Gustin cannot sing, and you just proved it. Naya Rivera saves the song, and those Cellists were amazing. But please stop giving Grant solos. He can’t pull them off. “Black and White” was fun, but where the heck was Tina? Didn’t think we’d catch that, did you writers? But nope, she’s just not there and it was really weird.

Next week Glee breaks its promise of no more stunt casting, with Ricky Martin! Eh, it might be fun.

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