Merlin, S4 Ep13 – The Sword in the Stone, Part 2

Meanwhile sweet little dunderhead Arthur hears the ruckus and decides to go back for Merlin.  Tristan’s all “For a servant?” and Gwen’s like, “Okay, you don’t even know the shit I’ve had to put up with.  When we’re married I’m getting him a proper big-breasted serving wench like everybody else gets.”  Arthur goes back through the tunnels and finally finds Merlin.

Merlin:  Were you looking for me?  Did you miss me?
Arthur:  I needed a cuddle and you were off killing things.
Merlin:  Oh, kitten, it’s okay.  I’m here now, aren’t I?
Arthur: This chainmail is so heavy. I don’t think I can take it off by myself. Good thing you’re here.
My boyfriend:  Did you mute the episode so you could make up their dialogue?
Me:  …no.

Actually Arthur totally confesses that he did come back to look for Merlin, because Merlin’s the only friend he has and he couldn’t bear to lose him.  You can see Merlin thinking, but I just killed your uncle and also I killed your dad and also your sister like five times and maybe I killed a few of your knights and a couple of other servants too.  Also horses.  And squirrels.  Maybe I’m a serial killer.  But then Arthur’s like, “Haha, like I’d ever,” and everything’s back to normal, who cares how many people Merlin’s killed anyway.

The group comes out of the cave and everybody’s got an opinion about what to do next.  Arthur takes Merlin’s advice and they head off into the forest.

Back in Camelot, naked Gwaine and Elyan encourage Gaius to keep holding on.  Naked Gwaine’s off to entertain everybody by fighting with a little wooden sword.  I swear to god he’s bouncing his pecs like a Jersey Shore dude.  Dudebros of Camelot.

In the woods, Tristan’s looking to get his ass beat.  Seriously, this is like the fifteenth time Arthur’s done something normal and he’s been like, “Well well well, princess knows how to act like a commoner!”  Writers, must you continually be so subtle?  I simply can’t figure out what you’re trying to get at here.  Arthur pouts because for the third season running, somebody’s kicked him out of Camelot and he’s wondering why that keeps happening if he’s supposed to be the king.  Arthur wanders off to sulk and Gwen follows, but Gwen’s days of giving Arthur ego-bolstering speeches are over.  All the beautiful picnics they had!  All the bed-making!  All the times Arthur made Gwen practice saying “Turn over and take it, sire,” in a deep voice!  Oh, the memories.  But they’re gone now.  He’s through with her.

Meanwhile Gwaine’s done prancing his nipples all over Camelot for the time being.  Morgana says this is the last time.  I really hope so.  I’ve seen Gwaine’s boobs more than I’ve seen mine in my whole life to date.  Elyan urges Gaius to eat, but Gaius thinks he’s not long for this world.  Welp, Elyan, you’ve done all you can, you’d better go on without him.

Arthur’s sulking before the fire and Merlin tries to cheer him up.  But Arthur’s problem is that he’s sad over misjudging every single person he’s ever met, all of whom have betrayed him, so Merlin’s like, trying to back away slowly without looking too shifty.  Arthur says he’s nothing special except that he’s good with a sword.  I’m saying!  Arthur’s done being king for like the tenth time and runs away sobbing about how ordinary he is, and Merlin’s like goddammit, is a wizard gonna have to get a motherfucking sword out of a motherfucking stone?

Spoiler:  yeah.

He calls the dragon and they make small talk, and then— oh, Merlin’s crying.  I wondered how long he could go without it.  I’m not really paying attention to this scene because Colin Morgan’s face is just, like.  I can’t focus.

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