Ringer, S1 Ep10 – That’s What You Get For Trying To Kill Me

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Another action-packed episode! Amber Benson (Tara!) guest-stars, although I have to admit I was not pleased with her tiny amount of screentime. Other things I liked less about it: it is unfortunate for many reasons that Juliet is a Twilight fan, and the impact of the awesome episode title moment is lessened by what happens right afterward…

We pick up right where we left off last time. Malcolm and Bridget are conferring by phone after she leaves the cafe and he leaves Charlie/John’s apartment. Malcolm did not find the gun, although he did find Charlie’s cell phone, which will have to be charged before they can figure out what’s on it. They agree to meet in the morning. When Bridget gets to the Martin apartment, she sees to her surprise that someone has gone crazy and cut up the white rug in front of the elevator, strewing pieces of it all over the floor!

Scattered petals

Did Juliet get high again and attack the rug with scissors? Oh, they're petals.

Okay, not really — it’s actually a bunch of flower petals, but I really thought it was pieces of the rug for a second. When she walks into the living room, we see lit candles all over, bouquets of white roses in vases, and Andrew sitting on the couch, with his shirt unbuttoned partway. I may or may not have paused the episode for a few seconds just to recover. Andrew asks if this is overkill.

“It’s amazing,” Bridget replies, looking overwhelmed but happy as she comes over to him. “What did I do to deserve this?”

Andrew stands up. “Well, I know it’s not until tomorrow,” he answers, “but I wanted to say … happy anniversary.” He smiles. “Can you believe it’s been six years? It feels like–” “Six weeks?” Bridget interrupts. Heh. He goes on to say he made reservations for 8:30 tomorrow, and she’ll get her real gift then. Bridget is surprised to hear there’s more than this, but he’s sure she’ll love it. Then Bridget looks unhappy as she says she doesn’t have a gift for him. “I have everything I need,” Andrew answers. Aww. Bridget tells Andrew she loves him. His face softens, and he says it back, taking her hand. They lean in to kiss. I worry slightly that Andrew will poke himself on Bridget’s pointy necklace, like Angel burning himself on Buffy’s cross necklace when those two first kissed. But evidently not. They keep kissing, and then move to the bedroom. I then worry a little more about whether or not they’ll burn down the apartment while having sex, since their bed is also surrounded by lit candles. But evidently not.

The pointy jacket

Yeah. Once again, there is no possible explanation.

The next morning, the phone rings, and Bridget passes by the giant tacky portrait of Siobhan (sigh) to answer it. She’s wearing a bizarre black coat with pointy shoulder pads and a bright blue collar, and the only drawback to this episode being so action-packed is that she doesn’t get much of a chance to change her outfit. Alas! Anyway, she tells the doorman to send “him” up. Then she stares sadly at the portrait. I feel ya, Bridget. Juliet walks in and tries for a joke about “Big Sister” watching you, but Bridget is too distracted to get it. Juliet says hi to Malcolm as he arrives and she leaves. I guess they’ve met at some point, then. Malcolm says he charged the phone he found at Charlie’s place. It’s not his, though. The wallpaper is an adorable picture of Gemma with her twin boys. Bridget stares at it, eyes widening. “Charlie has Gemma?” she stammers. And scene.

We open the next scene in Paris, in the daytime. Tyler is drinking, even though it’s still quite light out. He’s not happy to see Siobhan approaching the bar. In fact, he almost leaves, but Siobhan — who is wearing what must be her backup pair of giant sunglasses, since we know Bridget has a pair back in NYC — begs him to give her five minutes. Resignedly, he sits back down and orders another drink. Siobhan explains that she slipped up and used her credit card, so Andrew found out she was in Paris. That meant she had to go back. She points out that she and Andrew have been together six years and she has a stepdaughter, so she had to at least try. Ha. Like you care about Juliet in the slightest. Tyler wants to know why Siobhan came back to Paris, since he guesses it wasn’t just to apologize. Siobhan removes her sunglasses, dramatically revealing a huge black eye.

The black eye

I guess it's a good thing she's not a Slayer, or it would've healed already.

“Andrew and I didn’t exactly work things out,” she says. Tyler is horrified. We get a brief flashback that shows how Siobhan actually came by the bruise: by her own hand (of course), with the knob on her medicine cabinet.

She continues her sad story, weaving in bits of the truth: Andrew puts on a good face, but he’s not the man Tyler thinks he is. He’s also very powerful, and was never going to just let Siobhan walk away, so she needed someone with insider information. Tyler says, “So you targeted me because Andrew’s my boss? Asked me to do something illegal that could have destroyed my career?!” Siobhan apologizes again, but Tyler is still stuck on how she was just pretending to like him. That, of course, leads Siobhan to the whole, “I was only pretending at first, but then it all changed! Now I have real feelings for you!!” spiel we’ve all heard before. She says she came back to Paris for him. Tyler just tells her to put some ice on her black eye, and leaves.

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