Glee, S3 Ep2 – I Am Unicorn

I Am Unicorn
Booty Camp

Eyes to yourself, Anderson.

Some slo-mo dance moves, and a flash of Matthew Morrison’s tramp stamp which I really didn’t need to know about, and we’re back in the choir room where it’s “Booty Camp” time.  Blaine proves he’s more interested in oogling his flexible boyfriend instead of actually stretching, and then Mercedes opens her trap.  I hate to admit it, but I kind of hate Mercedes.  Which is sad, because Amber Riley is adorable and it makes me sad to wish she’d just shut up already.  But Mercedes is an entitled diva who thinks everything should be handed to her on a silver platter, and doesn’t want to do any work to get the acclaim she thinks is rightfully hers.  Say what you will about Rachel, but at least that girl puts in some serious effort to get what she wants.  Mercedes doesn’t even want to get up off her lazy ass.  Shane, the new boyfriend, is apparently just facilitating this terrible behavior and has told her she’s a “Park and Bark.”  Which means she should get up and belt out the notes others can’t hit while everyone else dances around her.  I really wish someone would just slap her.  Maybe this is why she and Kurt don’t really seem to be friends anymore.  He can be a diva too, but at least he’s seen enough of the world to know you have to work hard for what you want.

And then comes the moment that caused many a “Curious Case of Blaine Anderson” joke on the interwebs.  Because after telling us that Blaine was a year older than Kurt in interviews before Darren Criss made his first appearance on the show, it is now revealed that Blaine is in fact a junior, and so presumably younger than Kurt, who is of course a senior.  Personally, I choose to believe they’re the same age, but Blaine was held back because of the gay bashing he discussed in “Prom Queen.”  I will continue to believe this until the writers make another stupid character change.  It’s clear this was done for a few reasons which are incredibly frustrating.

  1. Darren Criss is a huge draw and they want to keep him on the show longer.  In other words, “Money money money moonnnney”.
  2. Blaine remaining ties Kurt to the show, and gives them a reason to keep Chris Colfer around should the NYC spin off not work out.
  3. They shot themselves in the foot by making nearly everyone but two of their weakest characters Seniors who will therefore be leaving McKinley, and presumably Glee, at the end of this Season.

So, a lot of reasons that just make me mad.  It changes the entire view I, and most people, had of Blaine in their heads, and completely disregards the fact that in the finale last year they told us that Blaine was on board with Kurt & Rachel’s NYC dreams after graduation.  Or we’re just supposed to believe that they meant he’d be joining them a year later?  Mostly it just shows the writers are idiots because they apparently don’t understand that people would rather see Kurt & Blaine ride off into the sunset together, never to be seen on our TVs again, than to have a forced storyline just to tie two popular characters to a show which may already be past its Best By date.  There are ways to make that story work (Kurt has given up his dreams for love before, I could believe he’d do it again), but I hate to say I have little faith these writers can do it in a believable manner.  Only time will tell.


Kurt knows how lucky he is.

Getting past the attempted subtle drop of Blaine’s age into the discussion (you never had us fooled writers, and shame on you for trying), it’s a very sweet moment between the pair. They discuss the auditions for the school musical, and apparently somehow they haven’t previously discussed the fact that they’ll both be auditioning for the lead, Tony.   My school never cast a senior in a role a lower year student performed better, but apparently most high schools do, and McKinley is one of those schools.  So Blaine says a senior should probably get the role, and he’d be happy to play a Bernardo or an Office Krupke to Kurt’s Tony.  I’ll admit I “awwwwed” right along with Kurt to that one.  People who don’t love these two have coal for hearts, that’s all there is to it.

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