Ringer, S1 Ep3 — If You Ever Want A French Lesson…

Paris, at night. Siobhan is in a bar, and a young American in a suit is asking the bartender, in English, for some kind of gross-sounding cocktail (a “shizzitini”?) that includes an energy drink, that only Americans would know about. Unsurprisingly, the Parisian bartender has never heard of it, although he’s more polite to the idiot than he has to be.

Siobhan's necklace

Tell me you're not a little bit distracted by her necklace.

Siobhan steps in to say, in French, that the young guy will take a vodka cranberry and a cup of coffee. The guy thanks Siobhan, and then asks what he’s getting. At her explanation, he hurriedly asks the bartender for just the coffee. Yeah, ‘cuz vodka cranberry and the coffee would be really gross, especially in comparison to something with an energy drink. Shudder.

The guy introduces himself to Siobhan as Tyler Barrett, and Siobhan very obviously doesn’t introduce herself back. The bartender refills Siobhan’s wineglass and asks her (in French) if Tyler is the man she was searching for, the man of her dreams — to which Siobhan says, “Pas vraiment” (“not really”). Yeah, he’s pretty, but he seems a little dumb for you, Siobhan.

On the other hand, when Tyler and Siobhan continue their conversation and Tyler reveals he’s in international banking, working for a French subsidiary of a firm called Martin-Charles, it becomes clear that Siobhan was perhaps lying in wait for him, after all. She pretends that she doesn’t know that firm. Tyler apologizes for just talking about himself and asks for her name, and she tells him it’s Cora Farrell. You’re sticking with the Irish theme, I guess, with Farrell. Then “Cora” says she has to go, but if Tyler ever wants a French lesson… She writes her hotel name and room number on his hand, and then leaves, with Tyler staring after her admiringly.

Meanwhile, back in NYC, Bridget arrives in a cab at the address where Andrew directed her: 924 Horatio Street. I hadn’t noticed that little detail at first, but that has to be a cute nod to Ioan Gruffudd’s role on Horatio Hornblower, which I still need to see at some point. Anyway, the address is in the middle of a creepy, shadowy alley. If it weren’t the middle of the day, I’d expect there to be vampires lurking. Bridget is understandably not comfortable with these surroundings. She knocks on the door, but no one answers. Then a creepy guy starts walking toward her from one end of the alley, while a black SUV pulls up at the other end — but before she has to get out her gun, Gemma opens the door. Bridget is relieved to see her. I, on the other hand, am very distracted by her blindingly neon salmon-colored pants. What the hell, Gemma? I know you’re depressed about Henry and whatnot, but don’t.

Inside, we find ourselves surrounded by beautiful women trying on beautiful, fashionable gowns. A guy comes up and invites “Mrs. Martin” to pick anything she wants from Douglas Hannant’s fall collection. Bridget is bewildered, but Gemma explains that the fantastic (see what I did there?) Andrew planned this all as a thank you to his wife for the party. Bridget is skeptical, still worried about Andrew’s motives. Take the dress anyway, Bridget! It’s not like Andrew had one tailor made to kill you.

The not-so-fantastic Henry, meanwhile, is telling Andrew at his office that he’s pulling his investment from Martin-Charles. He says it’s so he can self-publish his book, but that’s obviously just an excuse. Andrew is unhappy, but Henry’s mind is made up. Henry drops all sorts of hints about his marriage and his affair all throughout the conversation, because he’s a jerk and a loser.

Bridget is having trouble choosing a dress, and when she hears that Andrew is also taking her to see Swan Lake despite the fact that he hates the ballet, she really wants to know what Andrew’s up to. Gemma is annoyed with her for questioning his intentions. “You always do this. You never think what Andrew does for you is enough,” she tells Bridget. To Gemma, it’s obvious that Andrew is a great guy.

Neon pants

Are those track pants, Gemma? Really?

Gemma, Bridget, and the designer guy are heading to lunch afterward when Bridget gets a call — on the assassin’s cell phone. Uh oh. She tells the others not to wait up. When she answers, the voice on the other end tells “Siobhan” that she dropped her scarf. Double uh oh: he’s watching her right now!!1

They play a little cat-and-mouse over the phone, with the guy telling her that he wants the phone back or he’ll tell the police about the man she killed, while Bridget tries to look around at all the people will cell phones to find out who is talking to her. He tells her to leave the phone on a certain bench — which she almost does, but then decides not to follow orders. That’s my girl. Don’t let the creepy stalker assassin tell you what to do!

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