Ringer, S1 Ep2 — She’s Ruining Everything

Everybody ready? Got your mirrors and your giant sunglasses at hand?

We start the second episode with an intro to catch people up: “This is the story of two sisters who share the same face.” Uh, not really. They each have a face, although they do share an actress. Bridget introduces herself to us, finishing up with, “There’s a lot about Siobhan’s life I don’t know.” Yeah, you could say that.

We’re still in the loft, right after Bridget killed her would-be killer. She’s … seriously, you’re calling Malcolm again? You really have no grasp of cell phone tracking, do you?

"So as a college professor, you can totally get me out of a murder charge, right?"

I understand that you’re freaked out, but come on. We do learn from his voicemail recording that Malcolm is a professor, which would explain the campus-y places he was always hanging out in the last episode. Bridget blurts out the whole story of the attacker in a voicemail, but then her cell phone gives her the option of actually leaving the message or deleting it — and she wisely chooses to delete it.

Next, Bridget tries to deal with the body. If she were the Slayer, she would probably be able to pick up the dead guy with no trouble at all (or she would have dusted him, since he’d probably be a vampire). But for some reason she doesn’t use her Slayer strength, instead dragging the guy across the floor and leaving a huge, bloody smear. Oops. When someone starts opening the loft door, she gives up and just wraps the body in the sheet it was on, and covers the blood with a tarp.

It’s Gemma, and she’s absolutely horrified. “Oh my God,” she breathes…

But when we get back from the title screen and commercials, it turns out all she saw was the giant hole in the drywall. She blames the contractors, and Bridget does not chime in and say it was actually from when she was wrestling with a crowbar-wielding assassin (which, by the way, would be a decent name for an album or a band or something). Bridget is just relieved to hear no one will be around the loft for the next few days.

She also wants to know why Gemma was late arriving at the loft — perhaps wondering, as we in the audience were, if Gemma organized the hit on ‘Siobhan’. But Gemma just begins to rant about how she confronted the nanny about whether she’s the one having an affair with Henry, but the nanny is a lesbian. Bridget is worried about how close Gemma is getting to stepping on the corpse, but she takes a few seconds to try to convince Gemma that Henry might not be having an affair at all.

Bridget arrives back at the Martin apartment, with the giant picture of her sister still as distracting and weirdly self-centered as it was last week. To me, that is. No one else is home.

"Seriously - I just got here a few days ago, and even I can tell this is entirely different."

Also, apparently they’ve redecorated the entire place since last week, or at least the bedroom. Continuity, I miss you when you’re not around. Bridget uses this alone time to start packing a bag, including the gun — but she’s interrupted by Andrew’s arrival. Andrew wants to know if she got his message about Juliet storming off after another fight with him. Before Bridget can answer, he asks if she’s all right, clearly noticing that she isn’t. Once again, Bridget has a terrible poker face, but Andrew just tells her she should get some rest.

“I’m not really tired,” Bridget replies. “I was thinking I might take a walk.”

“What, at midnight? Pregnant?” Andrew says incredulously. Yeah, midnight walks are very bad for pregnancy — don’t you know that, Bridget? Andrew tells “Shiv” that she has to think for two now. Heh. You get it? Then he says something kind of chauvinistic about her just doing what she’s told and going to bed.