Merlin – Series 2

Episode 13:  the Last Dragonlord

…because they are all bad.

The Dragon goes on a rampage and starts eating Camelot.  Solution: go find a Dragonlord.  Who knew that was a thing?  Unfortunately for Uther, he killed off all the Dragonlords, but there might be one left chilling in Cendred’s kingdom.  Oh, Cendred.  Right.  That guy.

Gaius kindly tells Merlin that the last Dragonlord, Balinor, is his father, then sends him off with a pat on the back.  Off you go, Merlin, don’t forget to not get your dad killed five minutes after you meet him!  Arthur and Merlin go off in the rain and stay overnight in a tavern, where Arthur notices Merlin’s not acting like himself.  Then there’s a pillow fight in their underwear.  You know how these things happen.  Nobody in the tavern will give them any information, except some dude who tries to steal from them and gets busted by Arthur.  Apparently Balinor is in the woods, living in a cave and being a cranky bastard.  Well, they do say most people are attracted to men like their fathers.

Back in Camelot, the Dragon is busily eating redcapes.  I bet they taste really good, like Red Vines.

Just as Arthur’s Dragon injury causes him to pass out, Merlin finds a cave with a cranky old bastard in it.  Cranky old bastard makes Merlin go fetch Arthur, then heals him with magic.  Crankily.  They have a cranky conversation and cranky old bastard reveals that he’s Balinor, he knows who Arthur is, but the name Merlin doesn’t mean anything to him.  Merlin’s about to tell Balinor, who understandably wants Uther to go die in a fire somewhere, that Merlin’s his son, but the cranky young bastard wakes up and interrupts by moaning Merlin’s name.  Balinor’s still not having it, so Arthur and Merlin camp out elsewhere for the night and Arthur pokes at Merlin with a stick.  If Merlin had pigtails, Arthur would be pulling on them.

Eventually Balinor shows up, convinced to help by Colin Morgan’s absolutely heartbreaking face, which— how could you not be?  While getting kindling, Merlin finally tells Balinor that he’s his son, and we’re not crying, we just have a little uncontrollable weeping in our eyes.

Oh don't mind us, we'll just be over here calling our dads and sobbing.

Of course this is Merlin, so less than a minute later Balinor’s dead.  Cendred’s men attack, no more father for Merlin.

Wtf, Irish Merlin people, stop making us cry like this, it’s not healthy.

Arthur goes back to Camelot, tells Uther the last Dragonlord is dead, and gives a very rousing Dead Poets Society speech.  Sir Leon, who’s still alive, and a bunch of other redcapes come to make a shape around Arthur.  Like maybe a circular shape of some sort.  Like maybe roundish?  Table-like?  We don’t know.

Gaius tells Merlin that the power of a Dragonlord only comes when the previous one is dead, so good thing Balinor got killed, right?  Arthur’s all chatty while Merlin’s helping him with his armor, and rather than finally slapping Arthur and telling him to shut the hell up, Merlin says he cares a lot about Arthur’s armor and isn’t going to let him go out into battle and ruin it without Merlin by his side.

As usual, the knights are totally useless and they all die pretty much right away, except for Arthur, who knows the routine by now and assumes his position:  flat on his back with a concussion.  Merlin waits until they’re all dead or unconscious and uses his big boy voice to calm the Dragon.  He’s about to kill him, but the Dragon (whose name, by the way, is Kilgarrah) gets all manipulative and is like, “It would be super sad if you killed me, because I’m the last of my kind” (only not in the Sean Connery way), so Merlin sends him away instead.  Arthur wakes up and is like, “Dang, I am so awesome, killing dragons in my sleep.”  He and Merlin come back to Camelot in slow-motion like a boss, and Arthur gets a nice hug from Guinevere while Merlin only gets a hug from Gaius.  No ladies for you, honey.

Merrrrrrlin  *swishy-clang*

Stay tuned for series 3!