Merlin – Series 1

Episode 4:  Poisoned Chalice

Merlin wears a funny hatSo this is the one where Merlin drinks poison meant for Arthur and Arthur goes on a quest to find a flower to save his life, against the King’s orders.  He ends up at Nimueh’s mercy, hanging from a cliff inside a cave filled with giant spiders, without any light.  Meanwhile, Merlin’s writhing in bed and panting, “Arthur, faster, Arthur, go faster,” and just when it seems like he’s about to, uh, peak, a ball of light appears in his hand.  At the same time, a ball of light appears in the caves to help Arthur out, and Arthur exits the cave without difficulty.

It’s very heterosexual.

Episode 5:  Lancelot

LancelotRemember how we said Lancelot wasn’t a knight?  Yeah.  Lancelot’s a noble dude who isn’t a noble, so he can’t be a knight of Camelot, but he’s suffering from Inigo Montoya Syndrome and has spent his entire life preparing to fight the people who killed his family.  Good luck with that, Lance, really.  He falls in with Merlin and ends up banished from Camelot for lying about being of noble birth.  This is what happens when you let Merlin try to do stuff for you.  He means well and everything, but you know you’re going to end up standing in front of some dead magical creature and Merlin will be like “Good job, you!  You totally killed that all by yourself, without any magical assistance at all!” and for a while you’ll think you are the shit, but then you’ll remember Merlin was screeching “forbearnan!” and got all glowy, and you’ll realize you are not the shit after all.  Or at least, you’ll do that if you’re not Arthur.

Lancelot’s definitely not Arthur.  Just ask Gwen.

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