Kiki is Siri’s super smart older cousin who’s jealous of the other disembodied cyber voice’s popularity – and she’s now Brittany’s voice of reason. The New Directions stage an intervention, with furrowed brows and soft voices. They offer her the chance to star in the number they’ve been asked to do at the school’s Fall Assembly, which is totally sweet and proves that there is something in the McKinley water that induces both short and long-term memory loss.
Brittany says yes, but only on the condition she is allowed to lip sync so she can concentrate on dancing and rest her voice for yelling at the shrubs…
Artie points out what a bad idea this is. Blaine is horrified (once again, questioning his school-changing life choices I bet). Shockingly, Kiki is on Brittany’s side.
If only these kids had a teacher or other adult to guide them…oh who am I kidding. They are on their own. Good luck guys.
Their “teacher” is off making Jake Puckerman his life mission; he stops him from scootering in the hall (bad boys have changed a lot since my day apparently) and skipping class and picking fights to defend Marley’s mom’s honor (seriously, he has zero bad boy street cred) and throws him into a room with…
Hi Puck! We missed you. No really, we did. I miss your background yawning and heart eyes and dudeness. But now you’re back from L.A. to guide your heretofore unknown brother by telling him to join New Directions because then he’ll have friends and become a real man. Annnnd scene.
I can only hope Will Schuster got a good deal on the airfare.
Assembly time! Figgins is back, putting to rest rumors he wants to be milked like a cow. The kids are backstage, spinning and pacing and suddenly realizing Brittany is not doing much stretching. Mostly because she’s pounding back Cheetos and looking entirely disinterested. Panic begins to spread as they are announced and…
Oh gosh, remember when Brittany vomited on Rachel during “Blame It On The Alcohol”? We could have used some Schnapps at this point. ND does their best on the sexy “Gimme More”, but a lackluster Brittany who keeps forgetting to move her lips can’t be hidden behind a good spin (or Sam and Blaine looking damn fine in tight black outfits). The crowd explodes in outrage. Because if you can’t trust high schoolers to sing live during an assembly, what the hell can you trust in this world?
Blaine wisely pulls the curtain as Brittany collapses in a sea of crushed Cheetos. Wow, that’s a metaphor for you.
Will is shocked and horrified (if only these kids had an adult in charge of th….) and proceeds to ream the kids out. Blaine apologizes as they were only trying to help Brittany but Will is having none of this. Do they not realize that the International Ruling Body of High School Show Choir Supreme Court Gods of Mt. Olympus (or something like that) might bar them from competition thereby screwing with the competition episode schedule and iTunes releases!?
Brittany doesn’t have much of an explanation and quits Glee, walking out of the choir room in a dejected mess. And a lightbulb apparently goes on over Sam’s head. It’s a little disconcerting.
Following a carefully drawn map, Brittany arrives in the auditorium for a meeting with Sam, who is clearly now the Wise Sage of New Directions. He sees through Britt’s act and realizes she’s forcing the rock bottoming slide so she can rise from the ashes and make a comeback. She thinks if she collapses entirely she can pull a good Britney – make money, smell great and be on top again. Sam smartly becomes her intervention so things don’t get much worse.
Brittany admits she misses Santana the girlfriend a lot but it’s Santana the best friend she really needs right now.
Ouch. But Sam promises she has a good friend (him) who understands her specialness, since he has it too (it’s the blond thing). It’s a nice, nice moment between the two and I heartily approve a Sam/Brittany friendship this year. In fact, more bestie pairings amongst the New Directions kids would make me far happier than the dreaded romantic triangle or two episode and forgotten relationships.
Now see, Brittany has a real plan. She’s studied the student charter and, as she informs Sue, she’s still technically Student Body President and look, here’s an official decree written in crayon that reinstates her to Cheerios. Also, she agrees that two senior years are plenty so she’s studying one day a week with Will and Emma in order to up her grades. Good luck Brittany. Maybe Lord Tubbington will quit the gang and be your study partner.
Sue is impressed by her closer-to-earth-logic reasoning and research and that C minus she’s sporting so congrats Brittany, your comeback is complete. Put on that high pony and shake your moneymaker.
In the hallway, Jake approaches Marley and they do the cute thing for a while. Marley clearly seems to think she’s won over the bad boy, who has been charmed by her innocence and taken a vow to be with only one girl! Which is totally true – except Jake is dating Kitty, for the sole purpose of making Marley look sad. I assume this because Kitty was the only girl who Jake didn’t ogle or speak to or notice was alive earlier in the episode.
Back in the choir room, Will is feeling much better because yay! Jake is joining, having been won over by five minutes with Noah Puckerman. Behold the power of Puck!
Jake is uncomfortable around the Glee Clubbers, who don’t seem all that excited to see him. He smiles at Marley, she smiles sadly at him and then asks to close out the episode with a montage appropriate ballad. Sing it honey. “Everytime” is nice if not a bit emotionally flat. But we’re clearly supposed to feel bad for Marley’s predicament which we totally would except that “Womanizer” number seemed fairly persuasive about reasons to be staying away from Jake.
In our sad montage, we see Brittany waiting for Santana to come online, while laying sprawled out on her bed. Brittany may have risen out of her funk back into the Cheerios (and one assumes the Glee Club) but it doesn’t solve the Santana-sized hole in her heart.