Previously on Misfits: Curtis broke up with Sam, though that took a few tries because his power did a rewind every time he made her cry. Nathan made the best worst-parent-ever as he tried to be a father to a baby he found in the community center. Sally the Probation Worker discovered what happened to Tony, but then Simon killed her.
We open on a gorgeous view of the park beside the community center. Swans glide in the sparkling water, the sun dusts the ground beneath the trees, a string soundtrack swells over the scene. All right, what’s everyone done? What could possibly warrant such an opening?
“I was a nasty slut,” a voice says over the shot of nature’s perfection. Perhaps something like that. “I went with so many boys and girls, girls and boys at the same time. I took part in disgusting, unnatural, and perverse acts,” the unseen female voice continues. When we finally get a shot of some young adults dressed in drab clothing, we see that Sybil Crawley is watching our speaker with a compassionate look on her face.
I knew you were the secret freaky type, Sybil. Why else would you run off with Branson, when his wooing technique consisted of screaming at and looming over you? Sybil appears to be the leader of this group of reformed young deliquents, and oh boy, she’s going to have a run in with our delinquents, isn’t she? This is going to be good.
Nathan’s staring at the group, shocked, saying that such a thing isn’t normal. Alisha says that the girl who just spoke went to her school; one time she was with a boy in the back of a car, and the girl climbed up and sat on the gear stick. Alisha, who between this and her demonstration with the water bottle in the first episode must secretly want to join Nathan’s filthy pantomimes, acts out what the girl then did once she was up there.
Curtis’ and Kelly’s reaction faces are priceless, and Nathan has the perfect reply. “Try that in your driving test, you are definitely getting a fail. Or a pass, and maybe some kind of internal injury.” Kelly’s horrified at the whole thing, saying that the well-behaved movement is spreading to her neighborhood. “No one’s even getting pregnant anymore.” Haha, you look so woebegone at the thought, Kelly.
The reason why the misfits have time to sit around and watch conservative youth gatherings is because Sally hasn’t shown up for work that morning. Guess she has no one to report her missing. Simon tries to say that she’s gone on vacation to Greece, but no one is buying it, because if that were the case “probation headquarters” would have sent a substitute to “supervise us,” as Nathan puts it. Using teacher/student metaphors is not helping me to stop writing about you like you’re a child, Nathan.
Alisha summons Curtis to the bathroom for a round of stall sex (how do they both fit in there without brushing up against each other?). Sybil’s in the bathroom, too, and she ambushes Alisha after Curtis leaves. She tells Alisha that she doesn’t have to act this way (promiscuously), and while Alisha blows her off at first, she then turns to Sybil and listens with a blank stare. I love the idea that Sybil Crawley is building an army of brainwashed young conservatives. Maybe this is the alternate universe where Sybil is the daughter her parents always wanted.
Later Kelly and Simon are preparing to leave. Kelly tells Simon to ignore Nathan (who’s been particularly mean to Simon this episode), but also that she’ll tell him to back off. Simon walks over to Kelly and gives her an intense stare (which he ought to trademark at this point), and thinks: “I did it for you. For all of you, to protect you.” Simon’s smart enough that this must be deliberate, but he leaves without clarifying.
Simon heads over to the freezer where they kept Tony and Twitchy Gary’s bodies, and ew, he’s got Sally in there, doesn’t he? I know he’s probably just keeping her there until he figures out what to do with the body, but it’s still weird. Also not helping is Simon’s sorrowful look, and I’d peg it just as the normal reaction most people would have to accidentally murdering someone, but then Simon cups Sally’s frozen cheek. Ugh, you are not harboring feelings for her, are you? Stop it, Simon.