Previously on Misfits: Nathan slept with a 90-year-old woman, Simon has gone from Duckling to Creeper, and the group’s New Probation Worker is their old one’s girlfriend and suspects that they killed him.
Alisha moves through the crowded hallways of a club, on the prowl with hooded, lascivious eyes. She trails her fingers against all the people she passes, reveling in the split seconds of wide-mouthed adoration that wins her. She chooses three or four for the full act, enjoying every moment of it. Well, that’s not where I expected the show to go with this, and it’s an interesting development. I’ll save my commentary on it for the end.
Returning from break, the camera closes in on Alisha applying her makeup. We hear the others discuss what to do about the threatening letters. They’re suspicious of Sally: New Probation Worker. Nathan echoes me: How’d you find out her name? Simon claims she told them, which must have happened off-screen.
When we finally pull beyond Alisha’s ministrations, we see Curtis eying her with interest, though he keeps their conversation on topic. He asks her if she likes Simon’s plan to hide, invisible, in the locker room and see who’s leaving them the notes. She blithely agrees, still focused on her primping.
Everyone looks expectantly at Simon, waiting for him to turn invisible. He says he can’t do it in front of them. Nathan: “I guess it’s like pissing at a urinal if you’ve got a tiny cock.” I’m too distracted by the way Nathan pronounces “urinal” (yurr-eye-nall) to decide if his joke is even funny or not. Once everyone leaves, Simon’s power kicks in, but it’s too late for him to prove it to the others.
The other misfits are led by a young, cute charity worker to some giant piles of clothes in the rec hall. They’re donations from the public and it’s the misfits’ job to sort them into categories. Cute Charity Worker asks if there are any questions, and Nathan raises his hand: “If a bear and a shark got into a fight, who would win?”
Cute Charity Worker knows exactly how to handle Nathan. He stares, blank, for a few seconds, then says, “If you’ve got any relevant questions, just ask.” He turns to go, then adds, “Oh, and if it’s on dry land, I’d bet on the bear,” and saunters out. I like this guy.
Kelly, Alisha, Nathan, and Curtis goof around at their work, trying on clothes and exclaiming over what they find. While they’re having fun, Simon sits alone in a tiny corner of the locker room, quietly waiting for the person leaving threatening messages. You don’t need to hide in a corner when you’re invisible, Simon. But I don’t feel bad for you because you’re a creeper; creepers don’t get to have fun with the other children.
Nathan dons a pair of ski goggles and gives a terrible Bono impersonation, but he’s interrupted when a girl comes into the community center followed by New Probation Worker Sally. “It’s the girl I had the fight with,” Kelly supplies. “I’ve got to do some restorative justice bollocks with her.” Does this mean Simon has to repair the house he tried to burn down, or that Nathan has to buy more Pick ‘N’ Mix (whatever that is)?
Sally tries to get Kelly and Jodi (the girl she fought with) to talk about their altercation. Kelly explains: “If you go around saying someone’s a slag, you’re going to get a slap.” Am I allowed to appreciate Kelly’s violent tendencies even though I’m not the type to start fights? No? Well, I never claimed to make any sense.